Mistakes
by Saiyuri of the Red Shadow
Summary: She loved him, she truly did... but perhaps that was her first mistake
1. Sakura's Lament: Please Forgive Me

A/N: Okay people this is the first chapter to the newly revised Mistakes! Read and review loves, I wanna know if you hate it, love it, or wanna blow it up ^.^

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, its characters, nor do I hold the rights to any of its merchandise. I do, however, own a leaf village headband

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_She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her arms and legs wrapped around the man above her. He thrust in, deep and slow, seeming to love her soft, breathy moans. _

'Sasuke'_ she whispered. His thrust came faster, as if he were trying to fill her with himself. She could feel herself getting smaller and smaller inside, he was there now, filling each and every single part of being. Jade eyes clouded over while she begged without words for more. She wanted to lose every bit of herself and be his forever._

'Take it, take me. I'm yours, I'm yours…'_He groaned in pleasure, and Sakura knew he was close to his limit. The rosette held him tighter, trying to keep him there forever. The raven could no longer resist his release and poured his essence, poured himself into her._

_It was so beautiful to her, to finally be his lover, truly his wife. Warm tears left her eyes as she came with a soft cry. Warm obsidian eyes melted her heart," Shh, love it's all right." And he kissed her._

_She'd never felt so beautiful._

And yet she didn't dare open her eyes. If she did, she'd be forced to acknowledge the painful reality that was her marriage… that was her life. She didn't want to see his cold eyes looking down at her. She didn't want to see him taking from her body as if she were a cheap harlot. Sakura didn't want to feel him roll off of her and leave the bed. She didn't want to hear him shut the door or the deafening silence that always seemed to follow.

It broke her heart every time.

For a long while it like she was in a vacuum, there was no sound or color. The rosette stared at the ceiling trying to remember the last time they'd made love or even spoke. She tried to remember a night where she didn't cry herself to sleep. She tried and tried and tried, but those memories were too old and faded.

She wanted to go back to the first year of marriage, the only time Sasuke ever seemed to love her. He would is hold her against him like a husband should, and run his fingers through her hair, always telling her how beautiful it was, how beautiful she was. Now, it seemed, he could barely stand to look at her, let alone touch her. She was trapped in an emotional desert, cut off from love at all sides.

It hurt.

No physical wound could ever even hope to replicate the pain it cause her to lose everything. She'd finally been given genuine love from an amazing man, treated like a princess, then, like a wicked witch's spell, it had all been taken from her. It was the first time she never had to earn her love from anyone and, just as quickly as it was given, it was stolen away from her

Sakura wasn't sure when it happened, yet she still found herself sitting in a bath tub, partially aware of the freezing cold water surrounding her only, she was far too wrapped up in melancholy to care. The cold numbed her mind and soothed the dull ache in her heart. . A weight settled on her chest as she sank into the water.

**/Its okay Sakura, just close your eyes and disappear for a while, it won't hurt as much-- I promise. /**

_I promise_

_There was a large, magnificent bridge in the center of town. The aged stone told decades, perhaps century's worth of stories. Sakura had always loved to go there on the festival nights, very few people knew about it despite its large size and that made her love it even more: it was a secret all her own. The fireworks exploded over head, adding to the night sky's natural beauty. She didn't think of anything that could have made her any happier._

_"Sakura-chan." A warm hand wrapped around her own as she found herself corrected._

_"Sasuke-san." Another wave of fireworks crashed across the sky. He wrapped his arms around her gently, pulling her as close as he could. A soft blush spread across her cheeks _

_"It's so beautiful Sasuke," Sakura said leaning her head on Sasuke's shoulder, her eyes glowing in the reflection of the fireworks. He smiled warmly, "I have something much more beautiful in my arms."_

"_Sasuke!?" Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach, she couldn't breathe, and for a moment, it felt as though she were floating on cloud nine. They leaned in close, lips touching. She didn't know what to do, where her hands should go. So she let him kiss her, and kiss her, and kiss. When his tongue slid into her mouth to tasted her she allowed it, hoping that he would love her even more for it. Fireworks exploded behind them and Sakura thought with a cloudy mind, that she could die right then and there, in the arms of a man she loved._

Dark spots danced behind her eye lids while her lungs struggled for air. If she died now she wouldn't have to look at herself anymore and see the failure she'd become. If she let the life slip out of her now then she could die, sweet and innocent, with the taste of his love on her lips. He would find her there, cold and limp, in the freezing cold water.

Would he cry for her? Would he hold her close and beg her to come back?

'_Sakura, I need you you_'

Maybe her death could make him love her again. Even if it didn't, even if he forgot about her as soon as the funeral was over, she'd still be happy knowing he could find someone better. That he could have a sweeter, prettier wife that could take care of him. The thought alone was comforting.

"Sakura!"

_'I'm sorry Sasuke...' _


	2. History: The Begining of a Journey

A/N: Hey guys! As most of you might have noticed I've taken down all of the chapters for this story. I'm not abandoning it (even though it takes me six months to update) I just want to edit and add to it because my writing style has changed quite a bit since I started it and I want my stories to show that. I want to take it in a new direction while still retaining a lot of the old and bringing in some new. I hope you enjoy!

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_"Sakura!" _

The voice calling her sounded so far away, she could barely hear it over the blood rushing through her ears. Hands reached for her, pulling her out of the water with frantic strength. He still loved her.

**/Stupid! Stupid! You've ruined everything! /**

She wanted to speak, wanted to apologize for being so stupid, so selfish, but no words came. The cold hand of death snatched them away. She could the dead eyes of the reaper, hear his dark whisper. Your mine now, he said. I'll never let go. But she no longer wanted to die. Sasuke loved her, wanted her, _needed_ her.

Warm hands pressed against her chest, rhythmically pushing, trying to pull her out of death grasp. It's too late, death chuckled, you're already gone. But she couldn't be, could she?

* * *

_In the Royal city of the Land of Fire, there is a shrine dedicated to Enma Ai, Lady of Death, Decider of Fates. It is customary that every family, no matter how wealthy or impoverished, go to the temple with their new born daughter and give the umbilical cord and placenta in as fine a container as they can afford for the goddess to take as an offering. It is believed that if this done the girl will be protected from an early death until her time has come._

**_"It is also to protect the girl from taking her own life, or have you forgotten?"_**_ Ah yes, of course Milady, how could I have forgotten? _

_This offering also ensures that, should a girl so choose to end her life, she'd receive a second chance to make things right or pardon her from the punishment that come from such a heinous crime. _

**_"Ah, but you forget, Sakura-chan is a special case." _**_That she is Milady, that she is. You see, when a girl like Sakura is born, she has a scar on heart. This marks her for pain and strife but also love and happiness. These young women are often abused or manipulated until--_

**_"They opt for the most permanent solution."_**

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_**

It was cold when she awoke, quiet and dark. She felt calm though, all of the fear and pain she'd felt seemed to fade away in this empty place, her eyes grew heavy once more and she found herself drifting off once again.

"Wake up, foolish girl! This is no time for sleeping!" The harsh cry brought her back from wherever she'd been going. Strong, gnarled hands lifted her up and backhanded her. Jade eyes widened in shock and recognition_, 'Grandma?' _She couldn't believe that her grandmother was standing before her, alive and well.

"You and I both know I'm dead Sakura, the only shocking thing is that you're here." But where was 'here' exactly? There were no striking landmarks or anything for that matter, just cold dirt and calm, "Stop! Don't even think about closing your eyes again! If you do then there's no going back!" But was there anything to go back to? Her husband didn't love her; her life was in shambles... maybe this dark, silent place was the best choice.

**_"Don't decide so quickly, child; there is much to be seen."_**

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* * *

_**

"You're mother was a wretched woman, hardly deserving of all the wonderful things given to her; least of all you." The old woman took her seat across from Sakura; the rosette could hardly believe that the tiny, stern faced woman before her was actually, Sachiko Namawashi, her grandmother. The entire ordeal seemed so surreal to her, as if it were a dream.

'Maybe it is, Maybe I'll wake up soon...'

"You won't, this is most certainly not a dream you silly nit," The old woman chided gently," I doubt you'll be waking up anytime soon." So perhaps she was asleep then, only not dreaming... but, what else could she be doing?

**_"That shouldn't be your main concern child. You should be worried more about waking up."_**

"Don't worry about that, love," The woman warn, pouring each of them a glass of tea, "All will be revealed in time." She sat down, a small smile present on her face.

"I remember the day she told me you were marrying that boy; I think I would've killed her for it had it not been for your grandfather... Do you remember it? That day you came home crying all by yourself?"

* * *

_A small girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Her pretty pink kimono, that made her done up hair look so pretty, was too tight around the obi. Her hair pins held her hair far too tightly. She looked as though she'd rather be anywhere else but here._

_"Will you stop squirming?!" Nori Haruno hissed sternly," Honestly child, we're meeting Fugaku Uchiha for God's sake! The least you could do is at least act like you have some sense. And for the love of God, sit up! "Sakura frowned but did as she was told, straightening her spine while trying to ignore the sharp prickling behind her eyes._

_"Sorry Ka-san." She whispered. Her words were almost too quiet to be heard but Sasuke could still hear the soft quiver in her voice. It made him feel bad for her. Sure, nothing he ever did seemed to please his father, but he had a kind mother who would give him guidance and gentle reassurance when he became dejected. It was obvious that Sakura didn't have that same luxury. _

_He walked in smoothly with the baring of a noble and took his place across the table from them._

_"Good afternoon, Sasuke-san. How was your day?" The young boy shrugged, hoping this could be done and over with soon. He wanted to train some more and this 'meeting' was nothing more than a waste of time. Onyx eyes briefly meet pale green and he wondered: Had he seen this girl before? She looked familiar, yet-- strangely unknown. Her long pink hair was done up in pins with cherry blossom accessories. Downcast pale green eyes, pretty pink hair, and soft pale skin._

_She was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen._

_"Sorry to keep you all waiting, a meeting with the Hokage ran a little longer than expected." Nori smiled sheepishly._

_"It's no problem, Uchiha-sama. I'm sure whatever you and the hokage had to discuss was of great importance!" The woman gushed with starry eyes. Fugaku laughed._

_"You're far to kind Haruno-san, but I really should've been here on time. I'm sorry to keep such lovely ladies waiting." Nori blushed brightly and giggled like tipsy school girl. She didn't notice the Uchiha patriarch's eyes darken as he gazed at her approvingly. _

_"Thank you for your kind words, Uchiha-sama." Sasuke and Sakura could feel that something strange was happening around them, but were far too young to understand. After all, how could two children, just barely old enough to attend school, understand the look of lust their parents were sending each other?_

_"Now that we've dealt with pleasantries, I think it'd be wise if we dealt with business before… more enjoyable things."_

_"Yes you're right." Nori gave her daughter a look that told of punishment if she embarrassed her. Sakura shuddered, hanging her head down so her bangs would cover her rapidly tearing eyes. Sasuke frowned._

_"Now as you know, Haruno-san, the Uchiha's are a very powerful family with a great deal of wealth. And usually the only arranged marriage would be for the eldest son." Nori nodded sagely._

_"Hai, I am aware of the custom." _

_"However, I feel it is necessary to arrange one for my second son due to his… recent unnatural obsession."_

_"Unnatural obsession?"_

_"Well, you see Haruno-san, my son has been spending an unhealthy amount of time with the **Uzamaki**," he spat the word as if it were a curse," child. I feel that it has become necessary for me to separate them—"_

_"But Naruto and Sasuke are best friends, you can't do that!" Sakura covered her mouth as soon as the words escaped but it was too late. Nori flashed her daughter a dark look but said _

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Sakura kowtowed before him. Fugaku waved her off._

_"That might be so, but I've already told Sasuke to stay away from that boy time and time again. It doesn't help that I saw them--" Sasuke tensed, waiting for his secret to be revealed. Fugaku cleared his throat, "My son's indiscretion aside, I feel it would be better for both our children to be engaged. Your daughter is very beautiful and will, without a doubt, become an excellent wife to my son." Sakura's heart pounded._

'Engaged? To marry Sasuke?'

_Despite her obvious excitement, Sasuke was less than pleased, how dare his father around such a marriage! He had no right to violate years, no, _centuries _of Uchiha family traditions just because he didn't want him to be Naruto's friend. It didn't matter to Sasuke if the blond was cursed, or _whatever else _the villagers had to say about him. He was one of Sasuke's only true friends and he'd be damned if he let _**Fugaku **_ruin that for him. _

/But Sas-kun, friends don't do what you and Naruto did, especially boy friends/

_Sasuke scowled as his father continued, "And the union of our families will be beneficial to the entire village." Nori's eyes widened._

_"The entire village, Uchiha-sama?" Fugaku nodded sagely._

_"Very few people know it, but the Haruno's are a very old family that once had a lot of pull in the Land of Fire. Having our children marry would restore some of your family's power and help the Uchiha family produce even stronger ninja. My son is currently at the top of the class in the Academy but your daughter is only .5 points behind him." The woman flushed with pride; finally, her daughter did something that _wouldn't _embarrass her! _

_"My family will, of course, pay for all the expenses and train your daughter in proper Uchiha conduct and customs to ensure that she's ready to join her new family. My wife has expressed interest in teaching her personally."Both Haruno women were behind themselves with joy._

'I'm going to be an Uchiha, I'm going to marry Sasuke, I'm going to get my fairytale ending' _Tears of joy streamed down her face as her body began to shake with her soft sobs. The adults looked at her oddly._

_"Sakura," Nori whispered," Show some self control! Honestly you're not a little girl anymore!" Sakura nodded but couldn't stop crying, she couldn't stop her tears, her sobs became much louder. A part of wondered why she was crying,' this is the best day of my life. I'm going to be engaged to Uchiha Sasuke. My mother will finally be proud of me! Why can't I stop crying? I'm ruining everything again!' _

_"Perhaps we should talk about this," he gave Sakura a pointed look, "without the children." A silent sigh of relief left him as the two left the room._

* * *

"You were hysterical, going on about how happy you were, crying until you couldn't breathe; we actually had to take you to the hospital for a good part of the night..." Sachiko nodded to herself sagely.

"Then the next morning you're mother came home, all flushed and contrite, 'Please forgive me mother,' she said, 'I was just finalizing a few things for my daughters future,' I knew it was no business arrangement either, no matter how important nothing reputable takes all ni--"

"Stop, please just stop. My mother is a lot of things but she's not-- she's not a--" A warm hand wrapped around her own.

"Sakura, look at me," Her voice was soft, tone gentle, "It's time for you to grow up and accept the truth." She shook her head violently, yanking her hand away, it was too much, it was all too much. She couldn't be here, now, she had to wake up, she had to...

"You have to accept these things... if you don't then you'll never wake up."

* * *

...And then the princess said to her father, 'I'm so sorry Tou-san but I love him and will be with him no matter what you say.'

The King was livid! He cried, 'No daughter of mine will marry a common peasant! You will marry Prince Akifumi and speak nothing of it!!' This broke the poor princess's heart and before the entire court she wept the biggest tears anyone had ever seen and sobbed,' Tou-san, please. I love him so much! If you make me marry another I'll surely die!'Now this was quite disturbing to the court. You see children; women in that time were expected to be silent and obedient, especially to their father's and husband's. Her emotional outburst, no matter heart wrenching, damaged his reputation. So the King ordered her to be locked in her chambers and guarded at all times. The only people allowed in or out were her ladies-in-waiting and the king himself.

"The princess cried and cried and cried. Her grief was so strong that she refused to eat or drink, 'Until I see my beloved' she'd cry. Now it had been the major discussion topic of even the most poorly connected families. No one could have guessed that it was her personal body guard that who'd stolen her heart. Then one cold autumn night just days before her wedding, Rei, as was the name of her beloved, slipped into her chambers. Rei took her into his arms and whispered,' My darling Kiyomi, you've become so frail, you weigh barely anything at all.' Kiyomi shook her head and smiled up at him. 'I cannot take food or drink unless we can be together.' she whispered, her voice weak form disuse. Rei held her close.

"'Do you not love me?' The princess was appalled that he could even think such a thing and said just as much. 'Then why must you hurt me so? It kills me to see you like this. So small and weak. Even if we can never be together as husband and wife we can still be together in our hearts. So please,' he said,' take care of yourself.' He gave a gentle kiss and lay her down on the soft futon, promising to see her before the wedding.

"But before this could happen he was arrested by the elite royal guard and imprisoned. So the princess waited until just minutes before her wedding before she realized,' He isn't coming...' And so she gave her hand to a man she did not know thinking that Rei no longer loved her. In public he was Prince Akifumi was a model royal that all young nobles could aspire to become. For a while he was quite kind to the princess, treating her to her favorite meals and showering her with expensive gifts. However, it did not take long for Prince Akifumi's true colors to show. Kiyomi soon learned that he had a deep love for sake and would drink it often and in large quantities, after which, he would become quite violent. He often beat her as a punishment for his failings, but was always sure to avoid scarring her in any place that could be seen.

"His cruelty sent the princess into a deep depression much like the one she'd been in just before the wedding. Even her father noticed the change in her. 'Kiyomi,' he'd say, 'look at how pale you've become, how thin.' She'd give him an empty smile and say, 'It is nothing father. I just haven't been well lately.' He wished he well and question it no more. But she never got better, she became paler and weaker as the days past until she was no longer able to get out of bed. The prince called every doctor, healer, and magician there was, not wanting to lose his new wife. But it was all for naught. They could do nothing but prescribe bed rest or some herb.

"But then a small child servant, no older than six years was able the name the sickness that afflicted her,''Tis a broken heart, that is.' And the King knew what he had to do. He made the order to release Rei from his imprisonment. He sent him into the Princess's chambers, praying it was not too late.

"'My darling Kiyo-chan, I thought I asked you to take care of yourself.' He whispered. She smiled and held his hand, ignoring the tears of pain that spilled down her face. She was just so happy to see the man she loved so much. She asked him to hold her and kiss her and lay down beside her. 'I'm not sure I can do that, love' but then he looked into her sad eyes and could not refuse her. So he held her, kissed her, and lay down beside her until she took her last breath. Rei brushed the soft hair away from her still warm face and carried her out to the gardens.

No one to dared stop him.

'Daisuki dayo zutto,' he whispered as lay her down on a bed of yellow tulips. Then he lay down beside her and promised her the next life would be better. And he died next to her. Their souls came together and created a weeping willow to symbolized the both the sorrow and beauty of their love.

**This is a fairytale, the ending is unhappy; the people are sad, hurt, and dead. Small children who hear it will take its message of everlasting love and sleep well, knowing that the princess and her lover are happy together, even in death. I cannot see things this way, for I have seen the true nature of humans which is far more wretched and cruel than any story ever told.**

**The true nature of humans is why dear Sakura is here, in the Land of the Dead, rather than home with the only person who ever truly loved her. Their cruel manipulations kept her from being happy, especially that of her mother. You see now Haruno Nori has never been the grateful type. Even as a child she wanted and wanted and wanted. Her parents love was not enough for her; she wanted all the worlds riches handed to her on a silver platter. When she was married to Haruno Tadashi, a well-to-do business owner, who gave her everything she could ever want, she found herself less than pleased.  
**

**Then one day she gave birth to a beautiful little girl, and is the true beginning of this tale... **

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_In the Land of Fire, winter is a completely different animal, the cold is much harsher than one would expect for a country with such a name. The frigid conditions are much, if you can believe, in the Leaf Village, where it snows almost constantly until spring lays a gentle hand on the land, warming the frozen earth and restoring life to the snowy landscape._

_But for now it is still winter and Haruno Nori is giving birth to her first child. It is considered bad luck for a child to be born in the winter amongst all the snow and frost, but this child is eager, willful, she cannot wait for the spring so she comes early, wanting to see the world through her own eyes, rather than the stories of her mother. She is excited to be alive so her birth is quick and easy._

_She comes in to the world quietly though, she does not scream to announce her birth, only takes the little finger of her father and holds close to her. This is her greeting for her new home. When placed in her mother's arms, she squirms, seemingly unhappy, but refuses to cry. When her eyes open, soft green eyes, the color of springs first breathe._

_"Sakura." This will be the child's name, if she survives the winter that is. But for now, in the Haruno household, there is springtime._

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A/N: Chapter two is all done! Ya'll know what to do by now!


	3. Sachiko's Love: Please Don't Say It

A/N: Honestly, I'm liking this version of mistakes much more than the original. I feel like I rushed things the first time around and want to do things right this time. Please give me suggestions as to how I can improve this story or my style of writing.

A Quick Guide:

**The Goddess speaks**

_The past or a poem  
_

The present

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts`

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"Why do you love him?" Sakura stared into her cup, unwilling to look into her grandmother's eyes. A year ago she could've talked any ones ear off about how perfect Sasuke was, how wonderful he was, how lucky she was to have him. Now no words would come to her. She still wanted him. She knew that the belonged together. Why had the words fled from her?

Was it because the thought of him caused her heart to ache?

The silence stretched on until a voice she was sure couldn't be heard whispered:

"I don't know."

* * *

_In the darkness, wind blows, pulling Autumn's leaves from the trees they called home. Together they dance like lovers in the night, only to be separated by silence. A lake sits calm in the middle of it all, content to enjoy cool evening quietly. In the distance, a feral roar sounded, working the gentle wind into a frenzy, tearing away the peace and quiet. If one dared, they could hear the screams of despair within the demons cry, smell the coppery scent of blood, feel the pain of true loss and terror..._

_A single crimson leaf fell upon the lake, distorting it's still face._

_In a village not to far, a child is born. His soft blue eyes have just barley opened yet he stares up at his mother and father lovingly, completely oblivious of the chaos outside. He is too young to know that this is the fist and last time he will see them,what hardships shall befall. Now, in this moment, he knows only his mothers warmth and his fathers kind voice._

_He is innocent._

_

* * *

In the whisper of the wind_

_My voice calls to you alone..._

* * *

In life, it is rare for one to meet their soul mate, and even rarer for them to be together, yet their they were, together in the small clearing surrounded by trees and silence, not far from them is a simple white house their fingers intertwined. In times like this no words were needed, they spoke in knowing smiles and loaded glances; a simple kiss between them was worth more than a thousand words.

"Oku-san, have you missed me?" He whispered, his lover only smiled and touched his cheek. In his eyes their was a kind of light that warmed the ravens heart. It only his eyes that see down into the core of his being, laying all secrets bare.

"How long will you stay with me, Danna?" The angel's voice was soft, barely louder than a whisper.

"Two weeks." The angel stood silently, releasing lovers hand. He walked over to the little house without a spare glance, the raven followed soon after, mindful to leave a bit of space between.

"Sasuke," the angel looked back at him for moment an odd expression on his face. The wind blew around them, a silent warning in the night.

"You should stay a little longer this time, just an extra day." Onyx met sapphire.

**She will soon learn the truth.**

* * *

Sakura was a wonderful wife, but she wasn't right for him; she never was. Even with all her beauty and kindness she would never be what Sasuke wanted in a lover. The rosette was too compliant, to yielding. All he had to do was ask and he'd have whatever he wanted from her.

It disgusted him.

Despite this, he could not hate her. She was a woman who'd never been allowed to be her own person. No matter what it was, someone always found some way to manipulate her. The only feeling he could conjure up in his heart was pity. She'd been used and abused her whole life by almost everyone.

But he tried. He tried so hard to make himself love her.

He wanted to be a good husband to her, just like his lover wanted him to, he wanted to fall into domestic tranquility with her. Give up being a shinobi and settle down with a few kids.

But it'd be cruel to both Sakura and himself if he'd done that. To fake a pure emotion such as love would be a true crime. Even so, even so, from the first day he met her in his father's study he knew she deserved something more, something better, than the life she'd been given.

* * *

_She is a lonely child, it seems. Since she was very young her shyness was painfully noticeable. It wasn't always like that though, at first she was an adventurous, inquisitive, bundle of energy. She was ready fro anything and everything, a true child of the Leaf._

_Then one hot summer day, that fire, that life was extinguished. _

_Noriko was tired, she'd been up all night organizing her husbands books, cooking, and cleaning the house. Her husband was gone for the week on business, leaving her alone with and energetic four-year old who'd yet to learn self control. She couldn't even send the child to her mother who refused to speak to her until she'd "get her act together". _

_Sakura tugged at her dress, asking question after question about her father, her grandmother and anything else that came to mind. The child's eyes were wide with curiosity as she babbled endlessly. Noriko's frayed nerves couldn't take it, there was a ringing in her ears that warned of a coming migraine, and for a moment there was blackness._

_When the woman returned to herself the toddler was on the floor crying pitifully with a small hand pressed against her red some reason she felt no shame for what she had done._

_"Go to your room. Don't come out until I fetch you."_

_For a time she had peace.  
_

* * *

"I've been watching over you since the day I died Sakura. Do you know what I've seen in those days? I've seen you, my intelligent, beautiful granddaughter lower herself to please a selfish mother and bend over backwards for a useless husband." Tears welled up in her eyes ,she couldn't look at her grandmother.

"Oba-san..."

"You've given up your own happiness to serve them. Your greedy mother only wanted the money your marriage would bring and your husband," the old woman let out a hollow laugh," he never even wanted you."

"Oba-san! Please don't speak so poorly of them. You don't understand, you don't understand any of this! Mother is a good woman who only wants the best for me! Sasuke is the best husband a woman could ask for!" Sachiko stood glaring down at her granddaughter. Another bitter, hollow laugh.

""Please don't speak poorly of them,' 'Mother only wanted the best for me,' 'Sasuke is the best husband', are you honestly that naive? Do you really believe their deceit? I could forgive you for believing in your worthless mother but not your husband. You have to see, no one is that blind. There no excuse for allowing him to mistreat in that way." The old woman growled in frustration while Sakura cried loud hopeless sobs. It was such a pitiful site.

"Are you really so upset that I speak ill of him, or are you distraught over what you know to be true?"

_'Oba-san... please, oba-san don't do this, don't say it.'_

"Is it because you no longer love him?" It was as though she'd been struck by a boulder in that moment, her mouth went dry and her chest felt tight," Is that why you couldn't me a reason for loving him?"_  
_

Sachiko sighed sadly, shaking her head," How often does Sasuke go on missions? They're usually high ranked right? Probably to far off lands where he mustn't make and contact with you." Sakura felt like she was choking. The pain was so intense. How could her grandmother say these things, these cruel, cruel things to her? How could she hurt her like this?

"And you never look at his pay stubs, you simply accept what ever he says. Even if he's gone for a month you don't question him. Haven't you ever thought of how strange it is for one shinobi to have so many long missions so often?"

"He's a great ninja. He just wants to protect the village and make me proud..."

"He's a man, and a man can lie as much as he needs to get what he wants." She kneeled down beside the rosette taking her hand. For long while they stayed like that, not speaking, still in the silence. It was obvious what the woman was trying to say, despite her bluntness she still trying to protect Sakura.

**She will soon learn the truth.**

* * *

**Sakura-chan, why must you be so ungrateful? I've allowed you a chance to save your life, to become Haruno Sakura. Yet you still wish to go back to him. Can you not understand? Are you really so foolish as refuse a Goddess's grace? I know all about you Sakura-chan, so please don't insult me. Take my gift graciously, heed your grandmother's warning. If you refuse this opportunity then your fate is no longer in my hands... **


	4. Confessions and Memories

A/N: It's short but I love it... I hope you love it too.

**

* * *

**

**You say he's so wonderful, so perfect, but do really know him? How can a wife pledge her love to a man she does not know? You never truly wanted to know him to begin with, did you? Why else would you spend so little time with him when he was supposed to be courting you? You never truly loved him yourself Sakura-chan, you love the idea of him and all the things being his wife could give you. No one in their right mind would ever make fun of or even think of hurting the wife of an Uchiha, especially one whose brother was Itachi. **

**You never wanted him to know you either. You'd hid your books of pressed flowers and fairy-tales, painted a pretty picture of a mature young lady and accepted him as you dashing gentleman. You never wanted him to see your flaws, you never told him about your joys or fears or anything else that could tarnish your image. You made yourself a trophy wife, forced yourself to smile at everyone.**

**He tried though, he tried to make himself love you; he wanted to turn himself into the man of your dreams...**

**That's why he stopped trying to love you Sakura.**

**That's why you're here.**

**You gave him yourself but... how can you give something that was never there?**

**

* * *

**

_Years have passed since that fateful night and the child has grown some since then. He is now perhaps, a toddler, at least. His bright blue eyes are full of curiosity and excitement and a ready smile. He is too young to understand why mothers pull his playmates away from, to understand their fear of him. He cannot hear their cruel whispers, their hard eyes have no effect on now he is happy and carefree, running unattended to do as he pleases._

_He is innocent._

**All things must end.**

* * *

I love you.

I'm sorry for never saying it sooner but it's true. I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. That's why I became your friend Sakura, so I could always be near you. Then I was too young to understand my feelings I thought you were just someone to pity, an outcast with no one to call their own. The more time I spent with you the more I realized how wrong I was.

You were beautiful.

But no one around you understood that. Our classmates thought you were stuck up for being so quiet. In youth they couldn't see the heavy burden you carried all alone. The teachers thought you were a real genius, you always came in at the top of the class and our peers hated you more because of it.

When we became friends it was like I was your protector. Whenever you were with me no one ever messed with you, and I guess that's when it started. Those strange feeling started in my heart and wouldn't go away. The more time we spent together the stronger those feelings became.

As we grew older I realized how much prettier you were getting. Your hair was long and soft, your skin was smooth and pale, and your eye, those beautiful eyes grew even brighter. You became more and more outgoing and confident. And even when you started making other friends you still stayed by my side.

Sakura do you remember? Do remember the moon and the trees that night?

Can you still feel my lips against yours?

* * *

"Good morning love." He kissed his lover softly, making the blonde cuddle up against him, Sasuke chuckled and they kissed again. And again, and again. They kissed until they had no more breath and just looked at each other.

"Oku-san..."

"Sasuke." The angel's eyes were unwavering, they traced over the face he'd touched so many times. Soft tan fingers ran over the raven's lips.

"What are you doing?" Endless blue eyes closed, as if in thought, while he mouthed a single phrase.

_'Ai'_

_'Shi'_

_'Te'_

_'Ru'_

Sasuke closed his own eyes, their lips were touching in a not-quite-a-kiss sort of way and he whispered his own secret. A secret only he, his lover, and the pure sunlight streaming in would share.

_'Daisuki dayo'_

* * *

_He is much older now; at least, his eyes have lost some of their light, his smile its brightness. When he was smaller his ignorance was a shield to him, protecting him from their cruelty. But now he was older wiser..._

_Lonelier._

_He could understand the cold look in their eyes, the fear they held when they pulled their children away. He listened to their whispers everywhere he went, felt the glares that burned into his back, saw them giving their own children love..._

_It hurt his heart to see the people who so hated him show love to his classmates. He couldn't understand how they could hate him, shun him, curse him, and love their own children. But that same love they showed stopped him from hating them, even it they were cruel to him how could he hate them if they could feel love?_

**Kill them little one, punished them for hurting you**

_And the demon whispered in his ear, offering vengeance for their wickedness. An outlet for his pent up rage... _

**If they will not love you, make them fear you, or pluck them off one by one**

_But he could never do such a thing, how could he? He was still a child, still innocent inside; despite his pain he still could not cause them harm._

**What of the harm they caused you, little one?**

_

* * *

_

_i suppose it's my fault for not being good enough_

_for housing the creature within_

_that must have justified your hatred_

_your cruelty_

_'he's just a demon'_

_amazing how you lied even to yourself _

_you'd feel better about battering a child_

_beating them for wanting _

_love_

_acceptance _

_a chance_

_and all of your mistakes _

_found laid out in front of you_

_for all to see_

_when the time comes when you realize _

_that the monster was never me_

_

* * *

_

I am not perfect.

I have never been. I could never be. But I'll be damned before I let anyone say that I'm a bad mother. I carried her for nine months, I read to her, I sang to her, she was a part of me. I loved her so much I couldn't stand it. After she was born whenever I saw her I would cry.

I was unworthy.

How could I pretend to deserve such a precious gift when I'd never done anything of worth? I was plain, average, and she was beautiful and intelligent. So I decided that I would make her life much easier. I put her in classes for dancing, languages, poetry, etiquette; nothing was too good for my daughter.

And then I gave her the best gift I could ever give.

I gave her Sasuke Uchiha.

It was hard, I had to learn so many things, tell so many lies just to get into their inner circle. I broke promises, I broke my wedding vows, but I had to, she deserved so much more than I could give on my own. So I went to him, to Uchiha Fugaku, I let him have me in exchange for his son.

Many nights I remember being in his bed, wrapped in such finery, drowning in pleasure. His wife never questioned his disappearances or my constant presence in her home. She offered me kindness and hospitality, a welcoming smile, and in return I slept with her husband, shaming us both.

But it was worth it all of it, my daughter was so happy to be wed to Sasuke, so happy to be with him, so happy...


	5. Sunchild

A/N: Hey I'm back! It only took...7 months! Yay! It's better than that time it took me a year right? Lol, but seriously I hope you guys enjoy ^.^

* * *

_He sat there, looking so cool, surrounded by children who wanted to be his friend, constantly dotted on by teachers and all adults he came in contact with. Everything he did look so effortless. His kunai always hit their targets, his jutsu were always executed perfectly, and his chakra control was 'impeccable'._

_It made Naruto want to throw up._

_Sasuke Freaking Uchiha was the bane of his existence. The smug boy was always talking about his genius brother and telling everyone, "I'm gonna be just like him when I grow up!" Every time they were paired together for field training he would always flaunt his 'superior skills' and offer to help Naruto 'improve'. _

_He was so annoying. _

_All of the kids always wanted to play with him and their parents all loved him before they even met him. So many people wanted him to be their yet he always heard the boy mumbling about "useless" children._

_It wasn't fair. What made him deserve to be so loved by everyone? Why did he get to have friends and be...be..._ **liked**_. _

_Those same questions left the blonde with tracks of angry tears running down his face as he slept. That gave him something to look forward to during the one day where almost every villager felt a mix of sorrow for their losses and hatred for the 'demon' among them. He'd stay in his apartment, stewing in his anger and frustration, until the end of the week when it was safe for him to leave again. _

_This went on for years until his tenth birthday. For once Naruto's anger gave him no escape from reality. He found no logical or even illogical reason, to blame Sasuke for his problems. His anger had abandoned him, leaving only melancholy in its wake. _

_It was torture._

_Countless hours had passed until sunset, the day after his birthday, someone knocked at the door. He huddled underneath the blankets, hoping that the person would leave. He lived in, possibly, the worst part of Konaha and he learned from a very young age to be wary of those around him. _

_"Naruto-chan, are you there?" A soft voice called. The sound of it made Naruto think of the delicate clinking of wind chimes. He pulled one of the blankets around him and walked to door, putting the chain on silently. No matter how sweet or kind her voice sounded she couldn't be trusted just yet. The child opened the door just a crack._

_"Yes, ma'am?" A kind looking woman smiled down at him. She had a lot of groceries._

_"Good afternoon, Naruto-chan, can we come in?" Blue eyes widened in shock when they landed on mop of familiar black hair._

'Sasuke?'

_He unlocked the door and stepped aside, allowing his unexpected house guests room to enter. He couldn't help but feel self-conscious at the state of his home. It was organized and as clean as he could get it, but ..._

_"It's awfully chilly in here, Naruto." The blonde shrugged, shuffling his feet._

_"S'okay, sometimes the landlady turns my heat off. She doesn't like me too much..." Mikoto set down the groceries and kneeled down in front of him._

_"That's not very nice of her is it?" He looked down at the floor, trying ignore her. The woman's eyes were sad and full of pity; how could he accept such a look?_

_"S'not her fault..." he mumbled," she's just sad about her son..." Her hand touched his face, gently raising his chin till he was looking into her eyes once more._

_"Why would her sadness over her son make her turn off you heat, Naruto?" Her voice was soft and gentle, tone kind._

_"Because I killed him." Her eyes filled with tears as she wrapped him up in her arms. There were no words for her to say. Her heart broke for him truly it did, but how could she fix this? His whole life he'd been abused and ignored... _

_'_Gods above, give me the strength to love this child. Help me to fix as much as I can in his life. Lady Enma, who has allowed me to live, by your will let this be done'

**All that and more my pious child, all that and more.**

* * *

_"Now, Haruno-san, Uchiha-san. Why have you requested an audience with me on this fine day?" Sarutobi smiled, taking a long drag from his pipe. Noriko Haruno shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Fugaku cleared his throat._

_"Haruno-san and I both feel that the Uzumaki child should be removed from the ninja academy." The smile left Sarutobi's face._

_"Now Fugaku, you and I both know that you have no reason to want him expelled."_

_"Ah but Hokage-sama, that is where you are wrong. Both Haruno-san and I have several good reasons to want him out of that academy. Right Haruno-san." She nodded._

_"I don't want that _thing _around my child. She's been having nightmares ever since that foul little creature got switched into her class."_

_"Do you think that's a good enough reason to keep him from getting a good education?" _

_"Well he does a good enough job of that himself. He's been known to skip class, disrespect teachers, and if you look at his grades it shows." Noriko sneered._

_"Well it's understandable for him to act like that. His parents are dead and most of the villagers either ignore or abuse him. If anything, his behavior is a cry for help, not a call for more abuse." Fugaku's face set into a frown and Noriko wrinkled her nose in distaste._

_"Now, Hokage-sama, you should not make such a decision in haste. The Uchiha family is still very influential in this village, as are the Hyuuga's. You wouldn't want us to... switch factions now would you?" Sarutobi frowned. Konohagakure was strong, yes, but... without the support of_ both _ninja clans . To say the village would be vulnerable would be an understatement at best. _

_"The demon foxes powers is raw and wild, teaching him jutsu will only stir the monster into action. If anything we're doing this to protect the boys life and reputation. The villagers will never trust such a child with their lives or future. Further training could only make him a greater danger to both the village and himself." The Hokage took a deep breath, then gave Fugaku a heavy stare._

_"Do you really hate that child?" The man laughed softly._

_"Of course not. I just want what's best for the villages children. For our future."_

For my son_, he thought, but could never say._

_"So ruining this child's life, crippling him even further, rejecting the Fourth's greatest sacrifice. Is that what you think is best for our villages future future?" Fugaku scowled. The meeting was over._

* * *

_Naruto sat up in bed, stomach growling. Since he couldn't go to the academy anymore the council didn't have to provide him with money for food or cloths. The only thing they were willing to let him keep was his apartment and they would continue pay for his utilities. But that was okay. He had a lot of shirts and pants, and Uchiha-san always sent him a new out fit every week._

'I'm glad I stocked up on instant ramen'

_She told him that she'd bring him some more food whenever she got the the chance but her husband always kept a close eye on her these days. That was okay though. Not a lot of people really cared about him anyway so to know that she even wanted to buy him food and cloths meant a lot to the blonde. She was really nice and smiled a lot; Mikoto Uchiha was the mother he'd always dreamed of..._

_Tap._

_Tap, tap._

_Tap, tap, tap_

'What the heck is that?'

_"Oi, dobe. Open the window already." Naruto hopped out of bed and opened the back window._

_"Why couldn't you use the door like a normal person?" Naruto grumbled, though he was happy for the company._

_"Well I could if I wanted to get caught and get us both and trouble then I could but I'd rather not." Sasuke walked over to the fridge._

_"Yeah, yeah, what'd you bring me?" Naruto asked blue eyes shining with excitement._

_"Hmm. Let's see. You've got fresh milk, eggs, canned food, a box of Belgium waffles and strawberry pocky." Naruto smiled and yanked the pocky away. Ramen was an absolute favorite of his but pocky wasn't too far behind. Under the right circumstances he might've had trouble choosing between the two... Maybe._

_"No ramen?" He asked sadly. The raven shrugged, crumpling the now empty paper bag in his hands._

_"Mom said she doesn't want you eating anymore instant ramen. She told me to tell you that it's horrible for your health and she won't condone such an unhealthy habit." The blonde's face fell at that._

_"So no ramen?"_

_"No ramen."_

_"But my mom did buy you some more cloths." Naruto pulled them out excited. Some of his cloths had gotten a bit to small for him and who didn't like nice new cloths?_

_"Um... Sasuke you mom does know I'm a boy right?" The older boy shrugged, staring out the window with a blank expression._

_"Yeah. She says you'd look nicer in those. She says it's part of her master plan. Put on the blue kimono with the black and white koi. I need to know if everything fits you right so mom can save your measurements." Naruto sighed and put away all but the one Sasuke had requested into his drawers. He changed out of his pajamas and slid the kimono on. It was silk, the kind of the highest quality._

'I'll have to thank her for these cloths'

_He tied the obi in the back as best he could and looked at himself in the full length mirror. _

_"Hn. It's okay I guess." _

_"Really? I don't look to girly?" Sasuke shrugged._

_"No. But I think that's what mom was going for..." Naruto looked back at him and sighed._

_"You're mom's a weirdo. Awesome, but a weirdo..."_

* * *

_"Demon child Naruto, black and blue's to good for you_

_Red and dead is better. Red and dead is better_

_Demon child Naruto, all alone_, _no where to go_

_So just die, we won't cry_

_Without you we are better_

_Without you we are better_

_Die demon_

_Die Demon!_

_DIE DEMON!_

_DIE DIE DIE!_

_Demon child Naruto, all alone_, _no where to go."_

_Naruto ran as fast as he could, trying to escape their voices. Why was it always him to be taunted? Why did his happiness have no meaning? What was wrong with him?_

_"Demon child Naruto_

_Demon child Naruto!" They were following now. Malicious children corrupted by their parents blood lust an cruelty._

_"Please leave me alone!" He shouted tears pouring from his eyes. They were relentless in their pursuit of him. They wouldn't stop until they reached the edge of the town square. Their job was done._

_He ran blindly through town bumping into people and being verbally abused all the way. He couldn't stop, their voices were still in his ears. The cruel chant was all he could hear._

_'_Please leave me alone. I don't want to hear it! I don't...'

_He was pulled into an alley by a large fellow. He fell to the ground, still crying unaware of the people around him. _

_"Get up kid." A coarse voice growled. That was when Naruto realized his mistake. _

_"Come on now we don't 'ave all day. You 'ave to be punished for breaking the rules or did you forget?" The blonde scrambled to his feet. It would only cause more pain if he disobey. The same man dragged him out into the street._

_"We told ya ta stay outta town demon!"_

_"You must be just as stupid as you're evil!"_

_"Teach that demon a lesson, Rai!"_

_"Yeah show 'em who's boss." The man called Rai smirked._

_" Don't worry good people, I'll make sure this demon never bothers us again." A round of cheers sounded through the quickly forming crowd. He punched the boy in the stomach, knocking the air out of him. The child fell to the ground coughing violently through his tears. The villagers surrounding them thew rocks and food at him. A heavy foot kicked him in the chest._

_"Oi get up boy!" He stepped on the boys neck. Choking him. The blonde struggled underneath the foot, trying to push it off, trying to live._

_" Does any one want else a shot at 'im?" A large group stepped forward, armed with scraps of wood, fists, and rage. They battered the child that they had called a demon. And in doing so they became less than what they so hated._

* * *

_For a while all he could feel was pain_

_Cold and sharp_

_Hot sticky blood covered his body_

_He was nauseous_

_Disoriented_

**Punish them**

**Make them pay**

_Had the boy been well_

_Maybe_

_Perhaps_

_He could've saved them_

_Spared them_

**Far too long have they pushed**

**They owe you a debt**

**Let them pay it in blood**

* * *

A/N: Hey so was this chapter bipolar or what? I hope you guys enjoy! Please leave reviews! All reviewers get cookies. The first two get sneak peaks into later chapters! Ja ne minna-san!


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